You meet someone new, and they seem to check all of your boxes for the ideal partner. The chemistry is electric, conversations flow effortlessly, and you can’t help but envision a future with them. But before long, things take a turn and the would-be relationship ends—just as it did the last time and the time before that. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of dating the same type of person only to repeatedly have the same negative outcome, you may be groundhogging.
A reference to the 1993 rom-com Groundhog Day, in which weatherman Phil (Bill Murray) lives the same day over and over again until he changes his ways and falls in love with his colleague Rita (Andie MacDowell), groundhogging in dating involves the same kind of fruitless repetition.
While the tendency to continually date the same kind of person may spring from good intentions—like a feeling of comfort or a desire to go after a specific “type” that you think is right for you—dating experts say it can seriously hinder your chances at finding genuine love.
Wait, what exactly is “groundhogging” in dating?
“Groundhogging is a trend in which people keep dating the same kind of person over and over while expecting different results,” says relationship coach and dating expert Susan Trotter, PhD. Each time a relationship ends for whatever reason, the person will “groundhog” to another similar person and date them, only for that relationship to inevitably end soon, too.
“Groundhogging is a trend in which people keep dating the same kind of person over and over while expecting different results.” —Susan