‘Conflict Mapping’ Is Esther Perel’s Technique for Getting to the Bottom of Any Relationship Fight

In a fight with your partner, it’s easy to get caught up in what they’re doing—how they’ve wronged you and what jab they’re likely to throw your way next, so you can beat them to it. Maybe you can even recite their playbook of go-to moves and rattle off the ways you tend to refute them. But no matter how fairly you may be fighting, trying to predict your partner’s approach or assume their motivations won’t get you any closer to resolution; instead, it’s more helpful to analyze your own moves and determine how you may be contributing to the dynamic via a process called conflict mapping, according to psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel.